The Papal Update

As noted in yesterday’s blog post, Nonna went off the radar for a few hours.  When I finally got in touch with her at 6:15pm she was in a state of exhaustion.

Nonna: Honey, you have no idea how many people call an congratulate on me?

Me: Congratulate you for what?

Nonna: You smart but you stupid, Papa Francesco!

Me: Why are they congratulating you for the Pope?

Nonna: It looka like I marry him.

Me: What. Are. You. Talking. About.

Nonna: People call on me to say how beautiful it is we have a Pope and they say congratulation because he is Italian.

Me: Oh, I didn’t realize you were New Jersey’s spokesperson for the Vatican.

Nonna: Yes it is.  I deserve.  Do you know how good lookin he is? I deserve to lookin at him for the rest on my life.

Me: Of course.

Nonna: But I don’t like one thing.  Why the Pope no have a number?  Benedict was the sixteenth, Giovanni Paolo was the secondo. Why he just FRANCIS.  I like Papa Francesco Numero One.

Me: I think its because he’s the “first” so you typically don’t call someone the first until theres a second – like you didn’t call Uncle Frank “Big Frank” until there was Frankie. 

Nonna: This is a different. Its like respect.

Me: Well why don’t you call him the First.

Nonna: I call him from now on Papa Francesco il Primo!

Me: Beautiful.

Nonna: When I watch all these things I becoming so educated. I know how many cardinals they are, how many votes the Papa needs to win and all this other stuff. 

Me: That’s great.

Nonna: But I want to know if the Papa has a family. 

Me: I’m sure he does…

Nonna: I gonna get a book about him.  Hey, can you go on the computer and answer my questions, I don want to look stoooopid at my alter rosario meeting.

Me: I’ll print you out the wikipedia on it.

Nonna: Wiki wiki what?

Me: Its like an online enyclopedia.

Nonna: I don have no idea what that means but if its a book I will read it because I can speak english.

Me: I can probably get one in italian.

Nonna: Better yet. Because he is Jesuit they better write very nice.  Because the Pope knows what they say. 

Me: You are so strange.

Nonna: Honey, I just so excited because this is the first time on my life I watch EVERYTHING. Last times they no have on TV or I was working.  This is the most beautiful thing I can watch on my life. I think this Papa is so beautiful.  I just really love him I can’t even explain.

Me: I’m sure he loves you too.

Nonna: Easter is going to be so beautiful.

Me: It sure is….

This leads me to my next announcement: Nonna has decided that it is my turn to host a holiday.  Accordingly, this year’s Easter celebration will be at my house.  After telling Brittany I was thinking about hosting, Brittany mentioned it to my Nonna who in turn called me up and accused me of speaking behind her back.  She then told me it was time I be a real lady, get up in the morning, get dressed, put on the nice apron and….make a ham. 

Yes, friends, I am making my first ham. 

Now, I thought with hosting a holiday, I would obtain autonomy over the menu.  Not so, Nonna told me she is making sausage, meatballs and pasta and artichokes and then told me all the things I need to tell OTHER people to bring and the food I need to make. 

When I told her I would think about it….she said “I don mean to offend on you, but you need to do things my way, the right way.” 

I mean, the woman has been hosting fab gatherings for years, so I guess tradition should lead the way…but, Britt and I have a few tricks up our sleeves to make this Easter distinctly our own…


One thought on “The Papal Update

  1. francesca says:

    Nons seriously takes the pope to the next level. LMAO. Can’t wait too read what else transpires !!!!

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