[a post from B]
This year I aggressively gave up alcohol for lent. While most would agree this is no easy feat for most 25 year old girls, Nonna thinks it is basically my cry for help to check myself into rehab [cue Nonna’s viewing of Lindsay Lohan stories on GMA]
After surviving my first weekend abstaining from alcohol, I made a mental countdown to the end of Lent. As most people would, I started subtracting the days from 40. However, when I looked at the calendar I realized there are actually 46 days of lent. Panicked, I called Nonna to get some answers.
Me: Why is Lent longer than 40 days this year? I didn’t sign up for that, this isn’t fair.
Nonna: Oh hello to you too… Butana.
Me: Hello. Please tell me why it’s 46 days.
Nonna: Are you sure? I knowin you no good at the mathematica, so I no think the church is wrong, I thinkin you is wrong. [cackle laughter]
Me: Nonna. I’ve counted several times. I need answers.
Nonna: I don’t hearin these things. And to tell you the truth, I never countin for God.
Me: Well maybe you should because I am not happy.
Nonna: YOU CAN STOPA THE SHITTY DRINKING FOR 6 MORE DAYS??? You disgust.
Me: No. Stop, of course I can – I am just asking because I am curious. Can you ask your church friends tomorrow?
Nonna: No its not. They thinkin I crazy and no understand the church.
Me: Tell them I want to know.
Nonna: No. You go ask your priest.
Nonna: Honey. It’s a beautiful thing you givin up your shitty ways. I am so happy knowin you stayin home every night.
Me: Fine. I’ll sit home every night and do nothing.
Nonna: No usin the computer to find a nice Catholic husband. I thinka this thing a good idea.
Me: (Obviously ignoring her second attempt to try and have me join Christian Mingle) So, you still don’t know why Lent is 46 days?
Nonna: No. I tellin you I think you is crazy and bad at mathematica.
Later, after considerable thought, Nonna informed me that she believes the Catholic Church doesn’t count Sundays in Lent. While I originally thought she was nuts…it appears she really does know all there is to know about being Catholic – http://www.uscatholic.org/church/2008/07/if-lent-40-days-why-are-there-46-days-between-ash-wednesday-and-easter
…despite that information, and that she is onto the fact that I can barely count to ten, I am still not pleased with realizing Lent is 46 days.
8 days down, 38 to go.