The One Percent…

One of the great things about Nonna is her ability to remain current with current events. While she may not understand the breadth of the world’s many issues, she certainly appreciates enough to ensure her children and grandchildren aren’t engaging in certain newsworthy events.

As of late, she has grown increasingly interested in the antics of the 99%. So much so, that she updates me regularly about what is going on – as she thinks I work too much to watch the news…(little does she know – the AP has a twitter account…). She additionally has grown increasingly concerned that my sister Amanda Knox…I mean Brittany is joining that “unruly” percentile.

To perhaps better communicate this concern…I leave it to my sister:

In recent weeks, Nonna has come to understand (or so I thought) that I work kind of close to the Occupy Wall Street protests. Mind you, I do not work on Wall Street, I work a few subway stops away, but to her, she thinks I am standing in front of thousands of people leading them in a protest that makes absolutely no sense to me.

Anyways, after work I used my time walking to the subway to call my (ex) roomie just to see how she was doing. Walking in any city is loud, but I usually forget/ignore this and carry on my phone conversations in a yelling tone to ensure I am being heard on the other end.

Me: Hi Non
Nonna: Hi honeydew. Where are you?
Me: Walking home, why?
Nonna: YOU PROTESTA????
Me: What are you talking about?
Nonna: ITS SO LOUD, YOU PROTESTA??
Me: Yup. Just leaving for the day.
Nonna: Butana, DONT I RAISA YOU RIGHT???
Me: Apparently not.
Nonna: You quittin your job?
Me: Yup.
Nonna: I spit on your face when I see you.
Me: Shutup, I am obviously not protesting. What is wrong with you, first you think I’m Amanda Knox, now you think I’m some kind of activist. Make up your mind.
Nonna: NO I NEVER SAYA YOU AMANDA. I sayyyyy it could happen to you. Honey, let me aska you one ting. What is these stunads doing? What they want?
Me: I honestly have no idea.
Nonna: I no understand.
Me: I don’t either, but it is just making people my age look like they are uneducated, and don’t shower.
Nonna: Breenny, I never been so proud of you in all my life.
Me: Um. Thanks?

Apparently my only qualities are two fold. 1.I did not get convicted of murder, and 2. I am not involved in the Occupy Wall Street protests.

Accordingly, we consider Brittany’s life a success.

It should be noted that after Brittany hung up with Non…she called me. Only to inform me that my sister is a new woman and that she thought Brittany would be disgusting in the park, but now she is high class number one.

As nonna always told us…povera si…ma lorde, perche?

Translation: Poor Yes Dirty (Gross) Why?

Perhaps the 1% should start chanting this…

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