Wedding Antics

The weeks, days, hours, minutes have dwindled…the great wedding event is upon us…well, on Saturday.

Naturally, the approaching has been quite exciting for fiancee Chris and I…but the closer the “big day” comes, the stranger Nonna gets.  Let me recap some of the crazy antics I have experienced in recent months.

The RSVPs

No surprise, as the RSVPs started coming back, Nonna watched the mailbox like a trained secret service agent. Each day, as the mailwoman approached, she would fly out of her house to ensure all RSVPs went straight to her hand.  On the days we received more than 5, she would call me at work and report. Then she would hold the RSVPs up to the light to ascertain whether it was a yes or no and then separate them into their respective boxes…unopened…

Each time someone said no (unless they were from Chris’ family), she would act truly insulted.  For days following a completely understandable family/friend “no” she would ask questions like “why they say no” “why no they call” “whats a matter with these people” “you insult them? why they no come” “I no gonna do anything for them no more”  I found the trick to dealing with this was to agree with her.  After agreeing with her, her tune changed…”These people have things to do. The world no stop because you getting married.”

The Seating Chart:

By the grace of my roommate, Chris and I were able to get OUR seating chart done in 20 minutes.  Only to find out that Nonna had her own seating chart – which she made herself without regard of who RSVP’d yes. Apparently, we were supposed to consult with her before making this chart.  She reviewed our seating chart and nodded, with pursed lips, as I explained to her that…quite frankly…her seating chart was inaccurate.  Five minutes later, she started questioning whether I loved her.

McDonalds

You may be wondering what this sub-topic is doing here.  When we were little, Nonna used to take the VICs (Very Important Cousins) to McDonalds after school ended.  Nonna recalls these times with much fondness.  So much so, that her “one-a request before marry” is to go to McDonalds with me.  Now, there are probably 400 things I would rather eat than McDonalds (except their french fries), but…I guess if it makes her happy?  When I got coupons in the mail for McDonalds…Nonna though of it as a sign.  Obviously we will be consuming some golden arches this week.  Hopefully my wedding dress is forgiving…

The Baptism

Yesterday, Nonna asked Chris and I to sit on her basement floor. Concerned at what was to come, Chris and I nervously obeyed.  Nonna emerged from her bedroom with holy water from Jerusalem.  And then…she poured it on us.  Straight poured it on us.  While saying, I bless on you on the name of the Father and the Son and Jesu Cristo (yes, the Son and Jesus Christ are the same).  She then turned and poured it on Brittany and her best friend, LJ (an athesit). She turned back to Chris and I, and shook the bottle in front of our face saying, “I save of the rest of this for your baby.”

This is really going to prove to be an interesting occasion.

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