The Mama Nonna Experience

Ok, I really should be punished for my neglect of my site the past two weeks.  I have been slammed at work, and Nonna has, quite frankly, been acting a little strange…

However, her strangeness made sense once last sunday came around…my surprise bridal shower!

Nonna was acting incredibly weird all week, yelling at me for no reason, reminding me about my cousin’s birthday party on sunday, making sure I was available….all things which should have indicated something fishy was up…but did not. Her strangeness culminated the night before when she presented me with a polka dot blouse the night before and asked me to wear it to the party.  It did not look cute on me. And she yelled at me when I said so.

Nonna: WEAR IT.

Me: No.

Nonna: You gonna wear it. You uncle invite so many nice looking people and you gonna look good.

Me: Which is why I am wearing something else.

Nonna: You ungrateful. You gonna look hagley.

At that point, I just walked away…

The next morning, Nonna was up at the crack of dawn.  She was making a lot of noise downstairs, which obviously awoke me in a bad mood.  Accordingly, I declined to speak with her. Instead she starts asking me what I am wearing over and over again.  I finally just walked upstairs.  When I emerged, Nonna was dressed to the nines, with full on Elizabeth Arden perfume.  When I asked why she was so dressed up, she replied “Its my grandson’s birthday, I gonna look good for everyone.” Ok..makes sense.

We arrive at the restaurant and Nonna insists on my walking in arm and arm…we walk in, and I am truly blown away by the amount of people yelling surprise…(special shout out to my sister Lauren and bff Tricia for coming from such far places).

While there were so many moments of my shower which brought me joy…there was nothing quite like the joy of watching my grandmother and Chris’ grandmother meet for the first time. They are both identical and complete opposites in one breath.

Especially when it comes to sex and boobs.

Sister Lauren was rocking some cleav…much to Nonna’s dismay.  Accordingly, Nonna told her to pull up her dress and cover up her cleavage…at which time Mama (sitting down), pulled at Lauren’s dress to show MORE cleavage.

Nonna: No!! (smacking away her hand) No! Jesu mio Cristo!! No!

As I was opening gifts, I acquired a “sexy” apron…

Nonna hung her head in shame…

Mama just yelled “NO BRA! NO WEAR BRA!” over and over again. To which Nonna just muttered Jesu mio cristo and made the sign of the cross repeatedly.

Notwithstanding their differences on “sexy” they seemed to get along pretty well.  Nonna, per usual, told her life story…Mama smiled and nodded.  They talked telenovellas and favorite grandchildren – Nonna’s is my cousin Michael and Mama’s is Chris’ cousin leandro…needless to say we are both pretty devastated.

 

 

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One thought on “The Mama Nonna Experience

  1. Danni says:

    Oh man, I hope the ‘sexy apron’ didn’t put my on Nonna’s bad list! Though I do agree you should wear it braless…

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