Why FIL is in BIG trouble (with me…)

This past weekend was spent blending families…and shattering dreams.

Nonna’s dreams. Of what I look like at 9:00 am when I visit my future in laws.

Allow me to explain:

This past saturday, fiance Chris’ parents were in town.  As they were coming early (Chris and his pops were headed to a nova game, and future mama-in-law and I were going shopping), I beautified myself a little early.  By the time they arrived, at approximately 9:30 in the morning, my hair was done, I was dressed and my makeup was on. I joyously greeted my guests and was met with typical hilarious sarcasm from FIL:

Chris’ Dad: What is on your face?

Me: Makeup?

I proceed to get teased for wearing makeup “so early” on a Saturday.  This prompted Nonna to ask why this was funny.  And then…he said it:

Chris’ Dad:  Well…I mean, its just that at our house, you are usually in your sweats and your hair is a mess and you are definitely not wearing makeup at 9:30 am.  I’m not used to this.

Nonna looked at me. I looked at her. And for a moment I was afraid.

Then, she congenially laughed at the comment.  Deep down, I knew this wasn’t right…I carefully studied her face, there was something brewing.

Long after everyone said their goodbyes (and just as I sat down to enjoy the Superbowl), she came clean:

Nonna: Joya…tell me one thing.

Me: Yes?

Nonna: Is it true you don lookin nice when you are at your father in law house?

Me: what?

Nonna: You father in law sayin you don lookin nice.

Me: Well, I mean, usually I am in my pajamas at 9:00 am.

Nonna: So its true.

Me: I mean, he was joking non.

Nonna: you thinkin its nice?

Me: what do you mean?

Nonna: DO YOU THINKIN ITS NICE YOU FATHER IN LAW DON THINK YOU LOOK NICE?!

Me: He didn’t say that, he was teasing me. It was a joke.

Nonna: ITS NOT A JOKE. YOU GOING OVER YOU FATHER IN LAW HOUSE AND YOU LOOK LIKE THIS (messes up her hair).

Me: (laughing) you are crazy.

Nonna: WHEN YOU GO PLACES YOU A REFLECT ON ME. HE GONNA THINK I LET YOU SIT IN YOUR DISGUST CLOTHES ALL THE TIME.

Me: Well I do (anyone who knows me knows my preference for yoga pants and a hoodie…or a good juicy jump suit).

Nonna: Next time you go on Chris’ house, you makin sure you brush your hair in the morning. Or, I gonna go on that house and kickin your ass. I bet you don even makin you bed. Dizgraziata…

Me: I DO TOO MAKE MY BED OVER THERE. AND I COMB MY HAIR IF WE ARE GOING OUT.

Nonna: Chris’ knowing this? Chris know you look like this on the morning? He gonna be number one disappointed man after you wedding.

Me: What?!

Nonna: He gonna see what I see in the morning. Disgust.

Me: Oh, and you’re SO beautiful in the morning with your crazy hair, and nightgown and spray painted slippers.

Nonna: Yes it is. But  it doesn’t matter because my father in law is not over this house.

Me: Oh my god.

Nonna: When I live on my father in law house, he never see me one time in my nightgown.

Me: Well you are perfect.

Nonna: Don I know. I cry every day because none of my grandchildren is perfect like me.

…next time I go to Chris’ house, I am bringing my curling iron and prom dress…9:30 am will never look so gorgeous.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: