Nonna is a front runner.
And also has a penchant for young hispanic men.
Let me explain:
When Nonna is not barking at the TV every time Mike Vick is playing, she is pining after her love: Mark Sanchay (Sanchez to those of you who actually speak English). So, after the Eagles were booted, Nonna dedicated her sports prayers to the Jets because Mark Sanchay is good looking number one. In addition to speaking to the Big Guy to try and get the Jets into the Big Game, Nonna has decided to adopt some seriously strange cheerleading habits.
Last week after the Jets won, Nonna called fiancee Chris to congratulate him…and by congratulate I mean yell “WEEEE! WEE! WEE! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!” into the phone for about a minute straight. Thank my roommate Chris has the patience of a saint…
Nonna continued “WEE! WEE!ing” everytime she saw “Sanchay” or the Fatty guy (sorry Rex Ryan) on TV this week. I mean, not only was it seriously strange…but she does it so loud I actually need to shut my ears.
However, nothing really prepared me for today…
After church, Nonna immediately put on the pre-game show…she was ready for the kickoff. However, she missed the memo that the game was on at 6:30. When I informed her of this, she threw the pair of jeans she was hemming, spit at the tv and said “go to hell everyone.” I was slightly confused by her agitation, but appreciated her enthusiasm for the sport.
At kickoff, Nonna begin screaming “WEE!” But, by the end of the first half, Nonna (and every Jets fan in the nation), was pretty fed up. Consequently, she felt the need to try a new technique of support: flashing the tv.
For the entire third quarter, everytime Sanchay had the ball, she lifted up her shirt. She encouraged me to do the same, but I declined as I don’t pull my shirt up for no one. She told me she didn’t ask me to pull my pants down, so showing Sanchay my “young whoops” (no lie) was h-okay.
I mean, how do you even respond to that?
By the fourth quarter, she was showing off her ass as well. This was getting to be too much to handle…
However, her cheering was just not enough…so, she said “screw you” to the Jets and then said “No wee wee tonight…pee pee tonight.”
You might thing my blog would end there…but no…probably about five minutes later, Nonna decided to list all the quarterbacks she knows in the NF. Here is the list:
Nonna: I know, McNuggest, Doggie, Sanchay, George, Ralph, Romolo, Mannie One and Mannie Two.
Me: Who is George? and who is Ralph?
Nonna: The guys who go on the big game.
Me: What? There are no George or Ralph quarterbacks in the Superbowl.
Nonna: Then who they is?
Me: Aaron Rodgers and Ben Roethlisberger.
Nonna: See. George and Ralph.
Me: Ok…well who do you think is going to win – George or Ralph?
Nonna: For sure Ralph, but he win before so I no like. But, those guys playin rough, if my sanchay can’t win, then George no win either.
Nonna: And one more question….why they use the towel for? Wipin their ass?