Today, I was telling Nonna about last night’s classic Modern Family episode. As, hopefully, many of you know, last night’s episode revolved around children walking in on their parent’s having sex. Nonna was highly amused by this thought, and was hysterically laughing as I told her about the awkward-hilarity that made the episode absurdly funny to me for some reason.
And then it happened.
Nonna: When I was just first married, you grandfather and I livin on his mother house. She was a pain in the ass number one. Every morning after we married, she make us breakfast in bed. I hate it. Sometimes you wanna sleep a little longer, and sometimes when you going to get married you stay in bed for the other things.
Me: (laughter stopped…and I in my head I just kept thinking Nonna is talking about having sex. Like actually having sex.)
Nonna: So every day she wake us up and she no knock on the door, she just come in. So one night, you grandfather say to me, I gonna make it so she never come in and give us breakfast. So I don’t know what he talking about. I just went to bed, and in the morning, we hear her foot go plip plop and one two three you grandfather jump on top of me to havin sex. And before I coulda say anything, my mother in law walking in and she thinking we having sex, but he dont do it yet. I was so embarass but I was laughing like you don believe.
Me: So your mother in law walked in on you…kinda…having sex.
Nonna: I don’t know what she thought we were doing…but the way it look, we were being married…and she never bringin breakfast again. So, now you know, you want to stop your mother in law from bringing you breakfast in bed…you have sex.
Nonna: But don havin sex until you married. I watch you until then. Then, you can do it whenever you want.
I’m pretty sure this conversation was more awkward than walking in on her having sex.