The East Coast was hit with a “monster storm” and by monster…I mean we got about 4 inches. No biggie…a little delay from work and school and the roads were clear by 10.
But to Crazy…the apocalypse arrived.
I woke up at about 7am, got some coffee and lounged around in my jammies, enjoying my brief snow day…miraculously, Nonna slept till 7:45 (sometimes I feel like an overjoyed parent whose child sleeps in when she wakes up past 7). Just as I sat down to do some work (as snow days do not mean days off when you are a grown up, unless you are fiancee Chris.), Nonna arose and immediately set out to task.
My dad was already snow blowing the driveway (thanks pop!), so Non became obsessed with the idea of cleaning off my car:
Nonna: Joya – go wash off your car.
Me: I will in a second, I need to do something.
Nonna: Please going, it will take you five minutes.
Me: I know, which is why I will wait five minutes.
Nonna: I askin you to do it now.
Me: Hold on, I have to make a phone call.
I proceeded to make a phone call, at which time Nonna decided to bang on the door repeatedly. She continued to bang until I emerged from my room, phone in hand, and gave her a look. She looked at me, pointed outside and banged the door again. Then she walked outside to monitor my dad’s progress.
Moments later, I go outside and clean my car while she oversees my snow removal.
I go back inside, shower, and get ready for work. As I was watching Regis and Kelly, I noticed the house was unusually quiet. I assumed Nonna went to sew something or was speaking with my dad.
She decided 30 degree weather after a snow storm was an appropriate time to WASH MY CAR.
Straight up WASH my car. With soap, and a hose.
She also SWEPT the leftover snow from the driveway. With a broom. While wearing her formerly-purple Ugg slippers which she spray painted black.
I walked outside…in complete dismay.
Me: Why did you do that?
Nonna: Don your car look nice?
Me: I mean yea, but its going to get dirty in about five minutes.
Nonna: So, I enjoy myself.
Me: Yes. Until you get a pneumonia cause you are crazy.
Nonna: I no crazy…you are LAZY.
Me: I’d rather be LAZY than sick.
Nonna: You never gonna be like me.
Me: Hell no. There is no way I am doing that. And once I get married, I am not shoveling either.
Nonna: I gonna tell Chris to run the other way. I gonna tell him “my granddaughter is no good. She no do nothing. She gonna live with me so you will not be happy.”
Me: And then we would be roommates forever.
Nonna: At least your car would be clean.
So much for a relaxing snow morning…