Day 289: Chillen Out Max and Relaxin All Cool

My east coast readers are probably reading this while sitting in pools of sweat (especially if you are my sister FSW) caused by Heat Wave 4 of the summer.  While most “elderly” individuals are likely hovering near their air conditioner units (hopefully)…Nonna has keeping cool down to a science which is all her own.

Her Recipe for Success: Sit in your kitchen basement, turn on your dehumidifier, do as much activity as possible and make chicken noodle soup.

Yes. You read that right. Chicken. Noodle. Soup. Nothing helps keeps heat stroke at bay like scorching hot Chicken Soup.

Hot liquids aside (that’s what she said), Nonna does not let the heat impact her hyper-active lifestyle.  She continues to water her garden despite state warnings to the contrary, continues to lift and move things around her house in usual fashion, and threatened to mow the lawn until I told her I would move out if she did that.

But, much to her own dismay, Nonna is NOT immune to the heat.

As a brief aside, and for some additional background, anything Nonna doesn’t like about herself is blamed on her age. According to her, she was literally perfect when she was younger.  She didn’t need makeup.  She never had a wrinkle.  Never had to dye her hair. Never had to shave her legs (and they were still smooth – she wasn’t European) and she sure as hell did not sweat…

Nonna: You know, I would sit outside all day, but now my face sweat.

Me: Its 100 degrees outside…

Nonna: So…when I was your age I never sweat for nothing.

Me: Ok. That’s false.

Nonna: I swear on my life. You don have no idea how beautiful I am.

Me: No I get it. You tell me everyday. I just don’t believe you never sweat.

Nonna: Believe it. You just mad you don’t have my, how you say it…my body.

Me: Your genes?

Nonna: No you wish you had my jeans too…Gloria Vanderbilt.


Anyway, in an attempt to reclaim her anti-sweating ability, I come home today to find Nonna sitting in the kitchen basement without any air conditioning on ANYWHERE in the house. After yelling at her for 10 minutes about the dangers of heat stroke, Nonna informed me that there was air on in the house…in my bedroom, with the door shut.  Makes sense. She then informed me that she was at my Aunt’s house all day in an air conditioned home, so she should be allowed to sit in the heat if she wants. Despite my best efforts, she was not buying my whole “you need to stay cool” concept.

In her words “where I come from, you could fry bacon on the ground probably but I don know if you could because we were so poor I had to stealin eggs…so we don need to waste money on electricity on the air condition right now.”

Then she offered me soup before she ladling a a bowl for herself.


2 thoughts on “Day 289: Chillen Out Max and Relaxin All Cool

  1. blue says:

    My Giggi (my wonderfully colorful italian grandmother),in the middle of Sunday dinner, would once a week announce to the family that at the Drs appointment she had (most likely within the last month or so)he told her she was in extraordinary health and that she was at least 15 years younger then all his other patients her age! She would then tell me about how he would wink at her and this was because of her “utter beauty”…..and what I most loved about these reaccuring conversations (about how beautiful she was) is that she would always lean in real close to me and tell me “seee….you-a get dat beauty from me bella!” And a hearty laugh would explode from her as if she said the funniest thing in the world. Almost evil like….I loved it!
    Sighhhh…I miss that laugh!!!

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