I’m sure many of you have passed by the local public television station while cruising from the basic cable channels to the food network. And I’m also sure that, like 99% of the population, you do just pass through it. Nonna, however, believes it is necessary to watch the local public television channel all weekend when “nothin is on the tele-vision.”
I don’t really know who to fault for this…but, our local public tv station replays any event that happens at the local high school or middle school over and over and over again. As this is graduation season, this means the awards nights, end of year choral/band concerts, and…of course…graduations are ALWAYS on.
Now, as many of you know, little immo just graduated high school (woo woo lil nugget!). Therefore, it is her award nights and graduation on replay. Which means Nonna is watching the channel more than usual in the hopes of catching Lauren’s ten awkward seconds watching across a stage (and if you know my sister, it was awkward…much like her entire life). Normally, most relatives would just smile, maybe exclaim “there she is!” or perhaps even give a little clap. But for Nonna, watching the nugget on public television is like watching her graduate in real time. Therefore, there is clapping, cheering, and, yes, crying each time she watches my sister “dead-fish” handshake the principal’s hand. And then she inevitably makes a comment along the lines of “its over” or “this is the last one.” (Side note: there is still one more Immo-cousin to graduate high school in two years…but whatever)
Now, you may be asking yourself how many times has Nonna watched this…
Todays Count: FOUR.
Now, I will give her credit – she did not watch the ENTIRE 2.5 hour graduation Four times. She fell asleep once. She took a break to make some pizza once. She watched the world cup game and flipped back and forth between the graduation and the game because team USA made her “too nervous.” She watered our garden. She made dinner. But in between all of her activities….Channel 19 was back on.
Finally, I had enough.
Me: Seriously, I don’t understand why you are watching this on repeat. You were there. You saw her graduate.
Nonna: I like to watch it. Every year I watch it at least two time. This year, your sister graduatin so I watch as many time as I feel like it.
Me: But, its the same thing over and over again.
Me: I mean, you don’t get bored?
Nonna: No. It satisfy me. You hungry, you eat…you satisfied. I bored, I watchin your sister graduate, I satisfy.
Me: That doesn’t even KIND OF make sense.
Nonna: It make sense to me. I watchin and I remember when she was so little and nice to me. I remember her kinny garden graduation. And I say to myself, she do pretty good.
Me: But how does that satisfy you like food?
Nonna: It satisfy my heart. You don have no heart so you don understand.
Nonna: You in-laws on going to be disapoint on you.
Me: This is emotional abuse.
Nonna: No, I hit on your head is abuse. I say you have no heart is the truth. But I love on you anyway.
Me: I love you too Nonna.
And then, she resumed watching graduation…