Well…I spoke to soon: Nonna and I both have poison ivy.
Nonna’s has taken over her whole arm, mine is on my right leg. You would think (based on the locations of the ivy) that Nonna just smacked me with a vine.
You will notice I am writing this blog BEFORE work. This is because the conversation I had with Nonna after I showered was priceless.
I get out of the shower, and show Non my poison ivy…which is growing by the hour.
Nonna: You poison iry is very bad.
Me: It’s poison “ivy” non.
Nonna: Its what I say…Iry.
Me: No you are saying I-R-Y, its I -V-Y.
Me: Ok ok, but yea its bad its really itchy.
Nonna: You know I was saying to the doctor yesterday (yes she went to the doctor hers is so bad – poor non) I don have no idea where this comin from. I thought everything was froze.
Me: Well, it probably starts growing the second it gets warm out.
Nonna: I knowin it. Every year I go out with the poison and killem it.
Me: Nice work non.
(Nonna proceeds to crouch down on the kitchen floor and pretend to spray the poison ivy that apparent grows in our kitchen?)
Nonna: Go away Iry!
Me: I should get you a t-shirt.
Nonna: I am practicing.
Me: Well, I guess every great task requires practice.
Nonna: This is horrible. I telling you.
Me: Well, it could be worse.
Nonna: When you got it you know what I’m talking about.
Me: Non…I DO have it.
Nonna: Oh, I forgot (hysterical laughter).
Me: Ok, I’m going upstairs.
Nonna: I gonna make you practice how to kill poison iry.
Me: Can’t wait…we’ll have a practice run this weekend.
Nonna: No, I gonna be in church all weekend, holy week is on next week. Don you remember.
Me: Oh right.
Nonna: This year I gonna pray for all the iry in the world to die.
Me: Yea, but it might be resurrected like Jesus.
Nonna: Don you know…I didn’t even think on that.
“Go Away Iry” shirts – coming to a store near you.