I know I have mentioned this before, but living with Nonna is like being on the Price is Right. (I swear, if I ever make it to that show, I will lose because Nonna can get everything for about 70% off its retail price).
Whenever she goes shopping she gives me the low down about exactly how much she paid.
Nonna: You see this bread? How much you think?
Me: Uh, $1.
Nonna: You think I pay $1? I pay 79 cents.
Me: Nice work.
Nonna: h-ok, how about this box of chicken nuggets?
Nonna: Wha?! You thinkin I pay almost two dollars for chicken mcnugga. How you sayin? Chicken Mickamicka?
Me: Chicken McNuggets?
Nonna: Yes. You thinkin i pay two dollar for shitty thing?
Me: umm…did you pay 50 cents?
Nonna: No…I pay $1.39.
Me: Non….that’s less than fifty cents from what I guessed.
Nonna: So, I savin money. That is why I no worry.
Me: Non, you save money because you don’t buy anything new. Everything in this house is 73 years old.
Nonna: Yes it is. And it still workin. Now, I just-a want to let you know. I didn’t pay anything for my groceries. Your father my beautiful angel and your step mama they givin me a beautiful gift-certifica to Ac-a-me. I usually thinkin Ac-a-me is too expensive but today I get extra virgin olive oil for $10.00. Original price $20.00.
Me: Nice work.
Nonna: What you want for dinner tomorrow?
Me: Non, I am eating dinner right now…i can’t think about tomorrow.
Nonna: I gonna makin you chicken mcnugga.
Me: Ok…I’ll be in fourth grade again.
Nonna: How many you want…ten?
Me: ten?? I will probably eat like 5.
Nonna: You eatin what I say you eatin. Now I no makin you french-a fries because everybody watchin.
Nonna: You gonna eat the chicken nugga and sayin “i can no believe my nonna she pay only one dollar and thir-ty nine cents for this its so good”
Me: I can’t wait.
Update: Religious Retreat on Sunday…holy crap.