Day 196: Chicken McNonna

I know I have mentioned this before, but living with Nonna is like being on the Price is Right.  (I swear, if I ever make it to that show, I will lose because Nonna can get everything for about 70% off its retail price).

Whenever she goes shopping she gives me the low down about exactly how much she paid.

Nonna: You see this bread?  How much you think?

Me: Uh, $1.

Nonna: You think I pay $1? I pay 79 cents.

Me: Nice work.

Nonna: h-ok, how about this box of chicken nuggets?

Me: Umm..$1.79

Nonna: Wha?! You thinkin I pay almost two dollars for chicken mcnugga. How you sayin? Chicken Mickamicka?

Me: Chicken McNuggets?

Nonna: Yes. You thinkin i pay two dollar for shitty thing?

Me: umm…did you pay 50 cents?

Nonna: No…I pay $1.39.

Me: Non….that’s less than fifty cents from what I guessed.

Nonna: So, I savin money. That is why I no worry.

Me: Non, you save money because you don’t buy anything new. Everything in this house is 73 years old.

Nonna: Yes it is. And it still workin. Now, I just-a want to let you know. I didn’t pay anything for my groceries. Your father my beautiful angel and your step mama they givin me a beautiful gift-certifica to Ac-a-me.  I usually thinkin Ac-a-me is too expensive but today I get extra virgin olive oil for $10.00.  Original price $20.00.

Me: Nice work.

Nonna: What you want for dinner tomorrow?

Me: Non, I am eating dinner right now…i can’t think about tomorrow.

Nonna: I gonna makin you chicken mcnugga.

Me: Ok…I’ll be in fourth grade again.

Nonna: How many you want…ten?

Me: ten?? I will probably eat like 5.

Nonna: You eatin what I say you eatin. Now I no makin you french-a fries because everybody watchin.

Me: Ok…

Nonna: You gonna eat the chicken nugga and sayin “i can no believe my nonna she pay only one dollar and thir-ty nine cents for this its so good”

Me: I can’t wait.

Update: Religious Retreat on Sunday…holy crap.


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