I must begin this blog by stating that it is 8:53 am.
This morning, like most of you, I woke up to a blanket of the white stuff. Now, I really love being snowed in…partially because I am a nut job and I don’t relax unless I am physically forced to…which is exactly what snowdays mean. Unless you live with Nonna.
I think I get my inability to sit still from the “hold lady” – when I woke up about an hour ago, I come downstairs to find her making coffee, and I was relieved because it seemed the whole morning was going to be so peaceful – a quiet cup of coffee, good conversation, and sticky buns in the oven (don’t worry I had 3 – and a piece of nonna pizza – after the 6 i had last night…calories don’t count on snow days?).
She poured me a cup of coffee and I sat down to enjoy it….when all of a sudden Nonna started yelling: Hey! I need to showin you something! Come with me! COME ON!
She grabbed by arm and literally pulled me up the stairs…I made a diligent attempt to grab my coffee, but to no avail. Nonna takes me through her sun porch and flings open the door (I guess she didn’t get the memo its about 30 degrees outside and I am in my pjs….).
Nonna: Look! Look! Look! (points to the road)
Me: What am I looking at?
Nonna: The two hearts! Somone makin it for you and me!
I mean I have to admit that is cool/kinda weird…
Me: Did someone do it?
Nonna: I thinkin your dad because he is an angel or Jesus.
Me: Uh, Dad is probably sleeping…maybe lauren (my sister)?
Nonna: No, Lauren don thinkin of me.
Me: Oh…ok? Then probably Jesus.
Nonna: I think so. H-okay, I found the shovel.
Me: Oh that’s good.
Nonna: (gets shovel from garage and walks outside in her robe, slippers, nightgown and crazy hair and starts shoveling steps).
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! IT IS STILL SNOWING OUT.
Nonna: So… I gonna do the steps.
Me: YOU ARE RUINING SNOW DAY!
Nonna: You would have no work anyway its saturday.
Me: DON’T RUIN MY DAY! (proceeds to run away).
Nonna: H-okay, I makin you do this later when there is four feet.
Me: (eating 2/3 of sticky buns) I am not shoveling snow until the snow stops falling.
Nonna: Ok joy-a. (looks outside) My birds is gonna die.
Me: What birds?
Nonna: My birds, my friends they lookin all over for food but can’t find nothing. I gonna feed them. Then I gonn bring St. Francis inside.
Nonna: My St. Francis is covered in snow. (St. Francis is a statue…side note: ever since law school I have a difficult time typing the word “statue” I always want to write “statute.” That is neither here nor there, I just felt like sharing.)
Me: Well, I mean….is the snow going to hurt it?
Nonna: No. But I don want him to be cold.
Me: Ok…well St. Francis is for the animals…so maybe but some bird food near the St. Francis statute and St. Francis can feel like he is doing his job.
Nonna: Thats a good idea…(goes upstairs to put bird food near St. Francis statue)
(few minutes later)
Nonna: Today, I gonna make soup. I don feel like it, but it is a day to make soup.
Me: Yess….I love your soup.
Nonna: I know. (sees me eating my 3rd sticky bun) What are you obese?
Me: (stops mid bite…) Umm…
Nonna: I gonna put a lock on all the food so you don eat anymore.
Me: (cracks up) First, I am too skinny…next I am too fat?
Nonna: Today you is obese.
(few minutes later)
Nonna: Hey, you wan a piece of the nut-a bread?
Me: What is nut bread?
Nonna: Bread with the nuts…it is “organica”
Me: Where did you get organic nut bread?
Nonna: Dollar Store. (laughs) No, someone givin it to me.
Me: No thank you I am on a diet now.
Nonna: Good idea.
Now, my little Nonna is making a vat of chicken noodle soup…I have a feeling there may be a few hilarious updates to my snow adventure with nonna…stay tuned!
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Nonna informed me this week she signed me up for a religious retreat with her alter rosary society, without asking me first. No. Seriously. I will be the youngest person there by 50 years. I am doing this all for you (and for Jesus my roommate of course). I think it may end up being the greatest blog post of the year.