Day 174: Diva

I come home from work today and Nonna is wearing sunglasses and sitting on her recliner.

Nonna: Haalo.

Me: Why are you wearing sunglasses?

Nonna: Cause I feel like it.

Me: Ok…did you miss me? (I went to vegas for the weekend – my friend was in the Miss America pageant – yay shannon!).

Nonna: No.

Me: Fine then I wont give you your present.

Nonna: So, I don’t care.

Me: Oh you are a diva?

Nonna: I don know what that is but I think I am.

(few minutes later, me, non and lil sista lauren are sitting around the table)

Nonna: You watchin the award yesterday? (note: sunglasses are still on)

Me: The grammy’s?

Nonna: Yes. You know fiancee win 6 awards.

Me: Fiancee?

Nonna: Fiance, Diance what is her name?

Me/Lil immo: Beyonce?

Nonna: Yea! She win a lot of award. And that other girl win album of the year.

Me: Taylor Swift.

Nonna: Yes. Who is the girl who hang from the ceiling?

Me: Pink?

Nonna: Why was she naked?

Me: She wasn’t naked.

Nonna: Yes it is. I see.

Me: No it was like a nude bodysuit…

Nonna: Oh. (pause) I no like it.

While this is all going on, we’re watching the Bachelor.  If you ever want to really laugh, you need to watch the bachelor with Nonna.  She hates it – but she can’t stop watching it (I can relate…but I secretly love it).  Now, if you don’t watch the Bach you can stop reading now (or just skip to the bottom for my side note)…

Nonna: These girls are crazy. I no like them at all.

Me: I know.

Nonna: Who is the crazy vienna?

Me: I don’t know…the crazy girl?

Nonna: She is stoopid.

Me: I know.

Nonna: I thnk I like the virgin.

Me: Yea…she’s nice.

Nonna: I like virgins…

Me: Mary was one.

Nonna: Me too.

Me: No you are not.

Nonna: Yes it is.

Me: I’m not getting into this debate again.

Nonna: H-ok no problem.

Me: You don’t actually believe you’re a virgin again do you?

Nonna: No. But, I wishin I was. Too much work.

Me: If you were…you wouldn’t have me!

Nonna: Good, then I don have to cookin and cleanin and doin laundry and cry.

Me: But you would be bored.

Nonna: No I would be a good nun.

Me: I love you.

Nonna: I love you too.

Side note: Today in the mail…I got an invitation to join AARP for the low price of $16 a year.  I ran downstairs to show Nonna and she says “I so happy you becoming more like me everyday.”


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