Day 160: The Dog Whisperer

Humans aren’t the only people who love Nonna…

Meet Jessee (My dad and step-mama’s dog)…she probably loves Nonna more than you.

My parents were away this weekend, so Nonna was charged with watching Jess for 24 hours.  I came home today to the following story:

Nonna: That dog love on me like you wouldn’t believe.  I telin you she listen better than you kids. I say: GET HERE! and she come. I say, SHUTUP! and she shutup. Then I feed her. Then she sit next to me and no speak one word.

Me: Well, dogs don’t speak…

Nonna: No, she speak. RUF RUF! Also, she speak italian.  I can say whatever I want and she do it.  I say, mangia buottana (eat bitch) and she eats.  I say, aspetta momento (wait a minute) and she stops.  Then she given me a kiss. Nicer than you.

Me: Ok, well maybe you can try your techniques on Jessee on me.

Nonna: MANGIA BUOTTANA.

Me: I’m not hungry.

Nonna: See…ok, go take the dog for a walk.

I go over to my parents house and take the dog out for a run, bring her back and then tell Jess I am going to Nonna’s house.  The second I said “Nonna” the dog went crazy, found her leash and stood in front of the door.  So I decided to bring her over.  Jessee runs down stairs and attacks Nonna with kisses.  Then, the real battle begins…

Jessee is a curious dog, she loves to walk around and get into everything…which Nonna does not like…so everytime Jessee moves, Nonna yells.  Which has led to a series of fake barricades around the house like this:

Jessee, a highly intelligent canine, jumps over the pillows and gets where she wants to go. So Nonna, being crafty as always, decides to get Jessee to listen by feeding her cheese doodles (sorry dad and T I tried to stop her…). Which led to a series of conversations which went like this:

Nonna: Hey, doggie, come get a cheese chip.

Jessee: (does whatever nonna wants, eats cheese chip)

Me: What is a cheese chip?

Nonna: This thing (holds up a cheetoh)

Me: Thats a cheese doodle…

Nonna: I gonna try it on you. Hey come here! I got a Cheese Chip Doodle

Me: You are so bizarre.

Nonna: Look at the dog…she sit by me and don’t move.

(Notice the dog, laying in my spot, with the remote, watching soap operas with non…shes been in that position for 45 minutes)

…now if only I could get her to train my future children to do things for cheese doodles…

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One thought on “Day 160: The Dog Whisperer

  1. trish says:

    i’m laughing so hard at nonna telling a dog to ‘eat bitch’…then again, if nonna said this to me, i would immediately sit and eat..

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