Day 154: The Divorce

The Honeymoon is over.

This weekend…in an unprecedented turn of events, I (or expert IKEA builder chris) erected a desk in my room.  Which means I no longer have to listen to telenovellas at volume 87 while reading briefs.  Nonna, however, finds this change of venue quite upsetting.

Nonna: You and me are divorce.

Me: Why?

Nonna: It look like I’m dead. You go upstairs and I no can watch you.

Me: Watch me what?

Nonna: I like to look on you.

Me: But you watch tv.

Nonna: No I watchin you read and make sure you dont fall asleep. Now I don know when you go upstairs what you do. So we is divorce.

Me: Well, if we’re divorced will you still cook for me.

Nonna: No.

Me: Do my laundry?

Nonna: No.

Me: Tell me if I need to iron my shirt?

Nonna: No. We is divorce. You go to your room then you leavin me alone.

Me: Well, that’s sad…

Nonna: H-ok I make you dinner. But you need to talk to me for one hour a day.

Me: Ok. Deal. I am going to my room now.

Nonna: You have work to do now?

Me: I always have work, duh.

Nonna: We divorce again.  I can’t be married to someone who works so much.  Who gonna love me? My friend on tv? I gonna cry everynight and you gonna hear me and you gonna cry because you make your wife so sad. And then I will die. And then you feel bad.I gonna die and no one is gonna find me for six days because you go home and go to your room and they is enough food in the fridge for six days. So when the food run out then you notice I dead.

Probably true. (Just Kidding!)

Personal Side Note: Pops: Nonna has a box of pannetone waiting for you.  She wants to drink tea and eat cake with you…she talks about it every day. And no, I dont know when she started drinking tea either…

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One thought on “Day 154: The Divorce

  1. Aubrey says:

    tell pops to stay away. pannetone & tea w/ nonna is all mine. thanks 🙂

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