Nonna: I gonna tell you my New You resolution.
Me: What is it?
Nonna: When you come down in the morning I no gonna tell you if you look like shit.
Nonna: I don care if you have one brown shoe and one black shoe or your hair lookin crazy. I no gonna say one word.
Me: How is that a New Year’s Resolution?
Nonna: Because you gonna learn how to dress yourself.
Me: Do I normally look bad?
Nonna: No, but the other day you makin me very mad because you wore a new shirt and you no iron the shit.
Me: It was a button down shirt…I didn’t know I had to iron it when it was brand new.
Nonna: Yes it is. You gonna iron it.
Me: I am hopeless.
Nonna: H-ok I tell you if your shirt need to be iron. But nothing else, I no like the way you react to me.
Me: No, its because when I come downstairs in the morning you evaluate me and then walk away. Come back and try and fix me. You can just tell me instead.
Nonna: See, you is ungrateful.
Me: No, I am not ungrateful, I just don’t like to be smacked around at 6am.
Nonna: So what is your New You resolution.
Me: Be nicer to you.
Nonna: Good idea. Now I don need to do my New You resolution.