Day 133: The Grinch

(You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch…You have termites in your smile… You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile..)

Nonna is rude.

Today, I come home from work with all my work presents – which were very nice.  And this is what transpired:

Nonna: Thank you for my gifts.

Me: They are my gifts.

Nonna: No, I thinkin you givin them to me because I deserve it.

Me: They are MINE.

Nonna: I gonna take this and put it with santa claus (she picks up a sled filled with chocolate).  Next year we put it over here.

Me: Nonna, I am taking that sled with me when I leave.

Nonna: You leavin me?

Me: Probably.

Nonna: I gonna follow you.

Me: No you’re not.

Nonna: Yes it is. I gonna follow you and bring  the sled with me.

Me: You should ride in the sled.

Nonna: Its a good idea. I gonna take this sled and put it with all the things you give on me.

Me: Like what?

Nonna: You degree, you awards, you license.

Me: My license?

Nonna: You throw away you license so I save on it.

Me: My expired license?

Nonna: I earned it.

Me: You are CRAZY.

Nonna: You is crazy. And I keepin this sled.

Aunt Mary: Your grandmom drive you nuts huh?

Me: Yup.

Aunt Mary: You come livin with me down the shore. I won take you sled.

Me: Thank you Aunt Mary.

Nonna: You go live with you Aunt and you never find you degree as long as you live. Right now they hide-in you won find it even if i die right now.

Me: Seriously?

Nonna: I earned the degree.

Me: Uh…no you didn’t.

Nonna: Yes it is. Its mine. I watchin you and prayin for you.

Me: This is rediculous.

Nonna: Go to hell. You and you aunt.

Aunt Mary: Me?

Nonna: Yes. Everybody go to hell.

(…Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the uh… seasick crocodile.)

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3 thoughts on “Day 133: The Grinch

  1. Aubrey says:

    I love the new character in this story! This is going to be GREAT! Post a new story every day, please. 🙂

  2. tricia says:

    i love aunt mary! the two of them make me hoot and holler….i’m SO upset that i’ll miss new years day dinner 😦 😦

  3. Aubrey says:

    i check every day for a new story and…nothing. you’re so selfish for not posting on christmas, kelly. gosh.

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