Day 131: Things that don’t make sense…

I must apologize for being a little delayed – so, to make it up to you all, I have compiled a very special blog which depicts all the things in Nonna’s house which don’t make sense…

Up first: The Bed in the Family Room…

This bed, which serves no purpose on a day to day basis (other than a place to store my bags…) conveniently operates as a guest bedroom when we have vistors.  It’s completely normal to have a fully made bed in your family room right?

The Broken Refrigerator in Nonna’s Sewing Room…

I regret that my photographer (Brittany) could not get a better shot, but it’s pretty tight quarters back there…This refridgerator is from approximately 1967, has not worked since that time, but conveniently doubles as a storage facility for Nonna’s non-perishable items..

The Crooked Mallard Clock in the  Kitchen

I’m assuming most people have a mallard somewhere in their house…but this mallard, which is crooked and broken, watches over Nonna as she watches the dishes.

The Fishtank…

Most people put the “college” stickers proudly on the back of their car, Nonna however (never one to do anything the way anyone else does it) puts them on a fishtank in her sun porch.  This fish tank – which has water in it – does not contain fish.  Side Note: She used to name her fish after her grandchildren, but my sister Lauren would get really upset when her fish died…can’t say that I blame her.

The Second Kitchen…

Yes, we have two kitchens…this one, however, is what nonna calls “decoration.”  We don’t use it, it does not work…and yet, it still exists…

The Watch Dog

This Dog watches Nonna’s driveway…It is a piggy bank.

The Porcelain Cat…

This doesn’t make sense for two reasons:  1) Who the hell has a porcelain cat on their fire place and 2) Nonna hates cats.  Like really hates cats.  For example:  when my parents got divorced, they got me a cat.  When we came to live with my dad and nonna, Nonna locked my cat in the garage and told me she was allergic.  I then had to give my cat to the ASPCA.  Then…I find out last year that she wasn’t actually allergic…she just hates cats. So everytime I see this cat I want to break it.

Jesus and Graduates…

Among Nonna’s fine china are these random graduates who appear to be receiving a blessing from Jesus/angels…

The Bathroom…

#1: Lightbulbs

Literally…at no point are all three lightbulbs the same…as you can see Nonna has an energy efficient bulb, a giant bulb and a normal bulb….her theory: “I just put in whatever I gotten”

#2…The Grand Finale…

This is on top of the bathroom cabinet, overlooking anyone who takes a shower…It is an old (like really old) acoompanying toy to a  bubble bath set…#1) who keeps this stuff?  #2) who puts it on top of his or her bathroom cabinet?!

Sometimes words are not enough to describe what I live with on a daily basis.

House Update:  Not only is my sister home, but Aunt Mary (the only other 74 year old woman who is equally – if not more – crass than my grandmother) is staying here for the holiday…prepare yourself…

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