I am going to start off this post by stating that Nonna is 4’11.
Anyone who knows me knows my crazy love of reality television; particularly, reality television that’s not actually reality: think Jon and Kate plus 8 (pre Jon’s fix on 20 year old girls), Big Brother, and of course…the Little Couple. Now, last night I was getting my fix of the Little Couple on TLC when Nonna joined me on the couch.
(Brief side TV Note: Jen, the wife, is a doctor – on last night’s show, she was in her scrubs…)
Nonna: Why is she dressed up?
Me: She’s not dressed up…she’s a doctor.
Nonna: No she not. She is very little. You tellin me she a doctor?
Nonna: No…she is the size of my shoe.
Me: She’s like a foot shorter than you.
Nonna: Her husband is good looking. I thinkin he is taller than her.
Me: Yea he’s like 4’3″
Nonna: (starts laughing) he is little too?
Nonna: I thinkin I see these people on h-oprah one time. I thought it was a joke.
Me: Nonna, seriously, you are so innapropriate. And besides, you are literally like 6 inches taller than the man.
Nonna: I AM FIVE FOOT.
Me: No you are not.
Nonna: A QUARTER INCH…ALL I NEED IS ONE QUARTER INCH…I am four foot eleven and three quarters.
Me: Right, and that’s not five feet.
Nonna: God is gonna punish you.
Me: For saying you are short?
Nonna: You gonna be on this show and you show is going to be called my granddaughter is a dummy.
Me: That’s ok, I am going to make a show called “Little Nonna”
Nonna: I gonna breakin your face.
…and then she went to bed without saying another word to me….