Day 120: Little People

I am going to start off this post by stating that Nonna is 4’11.

Anyone who knows me knows my crazy love of reality television; particularly, reality television that’s not actually reality: think Jon and Kate plus 8 (pre Jon’s fix on 20 year old girls), Big Brother, and of course…the Little Couple.  Now, last night I was getting my fix of the Little Couple on TLC when Nonna joined me on the couch.

(Brief side TV Note: Jen, the wife, is a doctor – on last night’s show, she was in her scrubs…)

Nonna: Why is she dressed up?

Me: She’s not dressed up…she’s a doctor.

Nonna: No she not. She is very little. You tellin me she a doctor?

Me: Yup.

Nonna: No…she is the size of my shoe.

Me: She’s like a foot shorter than you.

Nonna: Her husband is good looking.  I thinkin he is taller than her.

Me: Yea he’s like 4’3″

Nonna: (starts laughing) he is little too?

Me: Yea.

Nonna: I thinkin I see these people on h-oprah one time.  I thought it was a joke.

Me: Nonna, seriously, you are so innapropriate.  And besides, you are literally like 6 inches taller than the man.

Nonna: I AM FIVE FOOT.

Me: No you are not.

Nonna: A QUARTER INCH…ALL I NEED IS ONE QUARTER INCH…I am four foot eleven and three quarters.

Me: Right, and that’s not five feet.

Nonna: God is gonna punish you.

Me: For saying you are short?

Nonna: You gonna be on this show and you show is going to be called my granddaughter is a dummy.

Me: That’s ok, I am going to make a show called “Little Nonna”

Nonna: I gonna breakin your face.

…and then she went to bed without saying another word to me….

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