Today, I passed the New Jersey bar (hooray!) After Nonna screamed for approximately 20 seconds, she began to cry. And when I say cry…I mean sob uncontrollably. Then she says the following:
Nonna: Honey, you a miracle. You a real miracle.
Me: Non, I’m at work, can we talk about this later?
Nonna: No you gonna hear on me, you is a miracle.
Me: Okay, I gotta go…we’ll talk later.
(few hours pass…I get home)
Nonna: (applause) You is better on everybody because you have two bars.
Me: Non, a lot of people pass two bars.
Nonna: No, but you is number one.
Nonna: H-okay. You need to believe on miracles now you passin the bar.
Time-out (Zach-Morris style): In order to continue with this story, I need to tell everyone about my bar-taking experience. I was assigned to take the New York Bar exam in Buffalo, New York. Which meant, I needed to fly to take my bar exam. Then fly after two days of test taking back to New Jersey to take the NJ bar exam. So, my flight there gets cancelled. Then my computer has a nervous breakdown while I am taking the NY bar exam. Then I had to take the 2nd day, which was the worst test I have ever taken in my life. Then after the test, I decide to take a walk for ten minutes before I go to the airport when the sky opens up, on top of me. So I am soaking wet…(I’m sure you all can see where this is going). Then, I get to the airport to find that a humungous storm is hovering over the entire state of NY and there are no flights going out. At all. So, naturally I start hysterically crying. I call my dad who tells me to get a grip. I call my boyfriend who also tells me a grip. They call eachother stating I need to get a grip. Then my dad tells me I need to gear up to make the six hour drive back to New Jersey. I go to the rent-a-car places where I am informed there are no cars remaining. So what do I do? Sit down in the airport and cry. On top of that, my phone is dying. I am pretty sure this is the end of my life as I know it. Then, out of no where this kid comes up to me and says “Did you just take the NY bar exam?” I said, “yes” He said, “Are you taking the NJ bar exam?” I said, “Yes” He said, Where? I said “Somerset” He said “Want a ride?” I said “Are you a serial killer?” He said “No” and so naturally I went with him. 6 hours and a monsoon later I am at my hotel. I slept for about 2 hours, got up, got me some continental breakfast and took the NJ bar.
Back to Non
Nonna: You gonna belive on miracle. I knewin when you go to Buffalo you go for a reason. You go because God want you to believe on him. You gonna go on Church and tellin him you believe on him. God touchin on your beautiful face because he says Maria needs a lawyer (sidenote: What?). I so proud on you, but you no passin the bar, God passin for you. (sidenote: so my 3 months of studying was for nothing?) God is a miracle. You is a miracle. You gonna be somebody!
(ten minutes later)
Nonna: I think I am a lawyer. I tellin all my friends you educating me. That’s why you degree is in my room (true…).
Me: Pretty soon you are gonna cross out my first name on all my degrees and it will only read “Marie” and you will take credit.
Nonna: I think its a good idea.
As an additional side note: While I write this, Nonna is taping gift wrap to her wall to cover a hole my dad made when he tripped walking down the stairs today.
Me: Nonna, why are you gift wrapping the wall?
Nonna: Because the hole lookin terrible.
Me: So gift-wrapping it makes sense?
Nonna: To me, my house is a gift.
She has an answer for everything….