Nonna always says three things must look perfect: your shoes, your nails and your hair.
Today, Nonna and I were looking at some old family pictures when we came across the gem above. Now, normally I would not reveal any picture of my family…but given that you would never know the above is my little sister I figured it was ok.
Now let me tell you about why we called my sister “Lorenzo” for a straight year.
My youngest sister came out of the womb with a mass of black hair. She had that beautiful, black, curly hair most women grow their whole lives and never have. So for the first 4-5 years of her life, little Lauren rocked the long do. Eventually, we figured out Lauren could not manage this hair whatsoever. After bottles of tangle spray and pony tail after pony tail, Nonna decided to take matters into her own hands…
Nonna heard from one of her church friends the place to go was Gordon Phillips…yes, friends, the hair cutting school…so Nonna takes little lauren to “Gordon Phillips” and 10 inches of hair later, my father got the son he never asked for.
When we got home from school that day, my other sister and I had no idea where our sister was..I’m pretty certain we confused Lauren with our male cousin. Nonethless, we began relentlessly teasing her until she began to cry. Nonna came outside and started screaming at us, telling my sister and I we “don know what a good haircut is because you lookin shitty all the time. My lauren she beautiful.” Obviously, that still didn’t stop us.
Later that day Nonna revealed where the big haircut was from, and that she paid $5 for it. Well…it showed. So if Nonna ever offers you to take your haircut…I hope you know she means a sex change.