I got out of my car today, took a deep breath and was knocked over by the overwhelming smell of basil.
Why you ask? Because Nonna decided she wanted to make a year’s supply of pesto.
This is how it went down:
One of Nonna’s friends had an influx of basil this year…and by influx I mean the woman grew a forest of the green stuff. Now I love basil as much as the next paison…but this is actually like nothing you have ever seen. So today, Nonna’s friend brought over – no lie – at least 30 5ft tall branches of basil. I walk in the house and find Nonna on the porch surrounded by this basil.
Me: What the hell is this?
Nonna: My friend…she want me to make pesto.
Me: For who?
Nonna: For me and her.
Me: What the heck are you going to do with all of this?
Nonna: I gonna freeze. But I tellin you, this woman is crazy with this basil. This shit is a lot of work.
Me: I can see. I could smell it from the car.
Nonna: I know it. Why I gonna do this for other people?
Me: Cause you are nuts.
Nonna: I makin you pesto.
Me: Where are you going to put it.
Nonna: In the freezer.
Me: You only have one freezer.
Nonna: So i gonna take out your icecream.
Nonna: Its your rent. You gonna sacrifice. Besides you no need icecream.
Me: Ok…fine. (Phone Rings)
Nonna: Hallo? Oh I glad you call. How you make pesto?
Me: YOU DON”T KNOW HOW TO MAKE PESTO.
Nonna: (pulled my hair) So tellin me…how you gonna me it. H-okay. H-okay. Va bene. Ciao.
Me: Seriously…you told your friend you were gong to make pesto and you don’t know how to make it.
Nonna: I know how but I don’t know how.
Me: What does that mean?
Nonna: I gonna make it and its gonna be the best.
Me: So who made the pesto I thought you made last week?
Nonna: You aunt.
So that woman has been lying to me all these years…Stay tuned people…we’re about to have an interesting night. As I write this, Nonna is yelling on the phone to my aunt while running the blender. Hil.ar.ious.