Day 57: Pesto Change-o

I got out of my car today, took a deep breath and was knocked over by the overwhelming smell of basil.

Why you ask?  Because Nonna decided she wanted to make a year’s supply of pesto.

This is how it went down:

One of Nonna’s friends had an influx of basil this year…and by influx I mean the woman grew a forest of the green stuff.  Now I love basil as much as the next paison…but this is actually like nothing you have ever seen.  So today, Nonna’s friend brought over – no lie – at least 30 5ft tall branches of basil.  I walk in the house and find Nonna on the porch surrounded by this basil.

Me: What the hell is this?

Nonna: My friend…she want me to make pesto.

Me: For who?

Nonna: For me and her.

Me: What the heck are you going to do with all of this?

Nonna: I gonna freeze. But I tellin you, this woman is crazy with this basil.  This shit is a lot of work.

Me: I can see.  I could smell it from the car.

Nonna: I know it.  Why I gonna do this for other people?

Me: Cause you are nuts.

Nonna: I makin you pesto.

Me: Where are you going to put it.

Nonna: In the freezer.

Me: You only have one freezer.

Nonna: So i gonna take out your icecream.

Me: Thanks.

Nonna: Its your rent. You gonna sacrifice. Besides you no need icecream.

Me: Ok…fine.  (Phone Rings)

Nonna: Hallo? Oh I glad you call.  How you make pesto?

Me: YOU DON”T KNOW HOW TO MAKE PESTO.

Nonna: (pulled my hair) So tellin me…how you gonna me it. H-okay. H-okay. Va bene. Ciao.

Me: Seriously…you told your friend you were gong to make pesto and you don’t know how to make it.

Nonna: I know how but I don’t know how.

Me: What does that mean?

Nonna: I gonna make it and its gonna be the best.

Me: So who made the pesto I thought you made last week?

Nonna: You aunt.

So that woman has been lying to me all these years…Stay tuned people…we’re about to have an interesting night.  As I write this, Nonna is yelling on the phone to my aunt while running the blender. Hil.ar.ious.

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