Today Nonna asked me to explain to her “friends on the television.” No…she wasn’t talking about Ross and Monica…
This is how it began…
Nonna told me today that her cousin’s daughter was finding friends in Italy and France and she wanted to know “how she do it.” I asked her if she was talking about facebook and Nonna said, “How I supposed to know? I askin you.” So I said, well she is probably doing it on facebook.
Nonna: Che cosa fa facebook?
Me: It’s a thing on the internet.
Nonna: Why you can makin friends in Italy?
Me: I don’t
Nonna: So why your cousin do it?
Me: I have no idea.
Nonna: My aunt on it?
Me: I doubt it…
Nonna: I on it?
Me: No, but you would have a lot of friends.
Nonna: Whas it mean I have friends?
Me: I don’t know all these people who know who you are can ask you to be their friends on facebook. And you can say if you want them to be your friends.
Nonna: I don want no shitty friends.
Me: Well you aren’t on facebook so you don’t have friends.
Nonna: I have friends. Bitch.
Nonna: Show me the facebook.
(we proceeded to look at facebook for the next half hour…where she asked me to look up pretty much everyone I went to high school with and commented on how they look, here is the conversation that followed)
Nonna: Can you send message?
Nonna: No privacy…you get permission to looka at this shit?
Nonna: Its why its called “friending what?”
Nonna: You get em friends.
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Nonna: I gonna curse on you.
Me: Ok. Curse on me.
Nonna: I gonna make you lose all your friends. You gonna see ZER-O.
…I should probably just leave the facebook community now. Who’s in favor of a “Nonna” profile…she’d probably have more friends than me.