Eating dinner at nonna’s is like a picasso painting: you know you are experiencing something great, yet…there is something a little off about it…
Now I am sure anyone who has ever eaten my grandmother’s food has their mouths open in disgust, but let me explain. Yesterday, Nonna wanted to make a big dinner. So, in the morning over breakfast, we were discussing the impending feast. I asked her what she was planning for dinner:
Nonna: I gonna make chicken parmagiana, pasta with meat sauce, meatballs, nice big salad, and…corn on the cob.
Me: Why are you going to make corn on the cob…
Nonna: Because its so good.
Me: Yea, but it doesn’t go with the rest of the meal.
So, we didn’t have corn on the cob, but in its place…she made london broil. So yes everyone: in one meal – chicken parm, meatballs and london broil.
Now, this is not an umcommon occurrence, these are the following combinations of food that she has offered me:
1) turkey burger, salad, fried egg with tomato sauce
2) pasta with shrimp and vegetables, hot dog (side note…she microwaved the hotdog, forgot about it, came back, took it out of the microwave, laughed, said: “this looka like a gugootz (a penis), and then told me she was saving it to show my dad).
3) sausage and peppers, salad, mini cheese steak (which she calls: mini steak-a)
4) home-made pizza, turkey meatballs, pasta, zucchini, stuffed peppers, and…bologna. (i am completely serious)
5) tilapia, mixed vegetables, peanuts, an apple, and a baked potato
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. The best part is telling her you don’t want something she offers you (like bologna), you get a humungous guilt trip. “Why you no want…” “You no like…” “You need to eat…” “Honey…you no respect me..” No Non…I actually just don’t want to eat a mini cheese steak with my sausage and peppers…or, perhaps peanuts don’t really go with my pasta.
And for your information…I was packing my lunch for tomorrow: cottage cheese, fruit, granola bar…nonna looks in my lunch box and asks “you want tuna fish?”