Day 10: Judge “Jooody”

From the day I started law school Nonna has prayed that I will become the next Judge Judy.

Nonna loves everything about Judge Judy. She laughs hysterically and screams at the TV “you’re so stooooooopid. Stooopid!” at every person who has the unfortunate luck of appearing on that show (no offense Jud…you’re not nice).  Nonna thinks that Judge Judy is the most intelligent woman on the planet:  “She’sa right. Alright Jooody!” Every single time she watches the show she dies of laughter and exclaims things like: “I’ma telling you…Joody is-a smart!”  “I love it!” or my favorite: “Dummmmy.”

So today, I got back from work and am greeted by Nonna clapping and saying “Welcome home Judge Jooody!” I walk downstairs ready to eat some din, and I happen to have my briefcase on my shoulder.  This naturally makes Nonna cry.  Apparently, me walking down the stairs with a briefcase reminds her of my first day of  kindergarten which naturally sets her off on the cry wagon.  (Note 1: this morning Nonna also blessed my forehead again…I am wondering if this will happen every morning; Note 2: It is not my first day of work). Anyway, I sat down for dinner (which, naturally, is delicious) and am hit with a barrage of questions.

Nonna: “Tell me one thing…you can be Judge Joody?”

Me: No.

Nonna: “You can be on the Suprem-a Court?”

Me: No.

Nonna: “You gonna be on the Supreme-a Court. Too bad I won’t be alive when you do it. But you gonna say that your Nonna told you.”

Me: Nonna…I’m not going to be on the Supreme Court.

Nonna: “Yes it is. You smart like Joody. You gonna be.  You need to say…’Yes it is! Im gonna be somebody.”

Me: (laughing) You got it.

Nonna: “And one other thing. You think it’s hard to be Judge Joody?”

Me: Uh…sure?

Nonna: “I think it is…I’m gonna break somebody’s face so we can go on that show and you can represent me.”

Me: If you break somebody’s face, you’re gonna go to jail.

Nonna: (laughing hysterically) “Yes and you gonna get me out! Otherwise you go to hell.”

On that note…look out for my next blog entry: Nonna in Prison.

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