Day 3: Nonna’s Gym

Anyone who knows Nonna knows how much she loves to exercise.  And by exercise I mean pray.

Nonna’s love for Jesus, God, the Virgin Mary, any saint, angel etc…is like nothing I have ever seen.  She goes to Church (the gym) every day, for everything from a choir concert to a novena (catholic for hard core praying). She stays after Church to pray the rosary with five other people.  And she prides herself on being able to say the rosary in English better than her cousin (whose version of english sounds like “Lord hear our pray.”).  In fact, today when I sat in her car about to go to my uncle’s, she played her cd of the rosary.  I mean, Black Eyed Peas would have been nice, but who else can say they prayed a rosary going to and from their uncle’s house. I don’t have to go to Church until Christmas now.

Just prior to moving in with Nonna, I had to sit her down and have a conversation about the amount of J.C. in my room.  While, being the semi-good catholic I am (I don’t eat meat on fridays during lent…), I respect a little Jesus in the bedroom.  However, two identical 11 x 14 pictures of Jesus, about 17 angels, another 11 x 14 picture of the guardian of angels and an 8×10 of Mary was a little overkill.  I could have dealt with this, but the thing that took me over the edge was the two wall mounts of Jesus and Mary.  Where some people hang deer heads and antlers on their wall, Nonna has two wall mounts of Jesus and Mary’s head. She thought they were “so cute,” I thought they were the most frightening things I’ve ever seen in my life.  During our conversation, Nonna yelled at me, told me Jesus is the only man who will take care of me forever, and then followed this by calling my a son of a bitch in Italian.  Typical. 

When I arrived home two months later, she smiled as she showed me that only two pictures remained. 

In the place of the holy shrine, she put up collages she found made by my sister’s roommate showcasing the binge drinking of college freshman.


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